~haaay.. nakakasad naman... =( few days ago... ung isa sa pinakamalapit sa puso ko (naks!) haha.. eh malungkot na naman.. grr!! i thought everything was okay na.. he gave up a lot of things for their relationship, pero after a month and some days, ayan, sawi na naman cya.. malungkot na naman bes ko... nalulungkot din ako.. haay.. :( tinanggap ko pa man din ung girl coz i think masaya na cya.. pero d din pala.. oh well.. nako bes, iinom nalang natin yan!! haha..

~i hate this semester!! i have a superrrrrrrrrrr panget na schedule.. andaming days na 730 am start ng classes ko.. may 8am.. and take note... 730 am na nga.. tas we have long hours of break pa sa tanghali.. such crap.. kaia nauubos pera ko eh.. grr!! -,- really hate this sem!! =(

~anyway, today's thursday. my schedule was supposed to be 730am-9am, theology.. 9am-1030am, discrete math.. 1030am to 1230pm, PE.. 1230pm-130pm, lunch.. 130-245pm, commarts.. pero wala kami class nang 9am-1030am.. kce, ahm.. bat nga ba?? haha bsta i forgot the reason.. so what we did was, we went to mcdo taft and ate breakfast.. around 930, i recieved a text msg from my PE prof na wala daw class... so ansaya namin dba?!?! haha! we decided to watch HARRY POTTER in sm manila.. the next screening will start at 1045.. so we hurried going to sm manila.. tas aun na nga.. we watched harry potter.. pero super BADTRIP!!! there were lots of cuts sa movie.. technical errors.. as in andami.. cutted scenes, muted scenes.. bsta andami!! so badtrip.. raawwwrr!! ewan ko ba, kung ano meron sa araw na toh.. super nakakabadtrip.. pero slight lng.. hehehe.. tas after watching.. sa washroom, NASUNGITAN ko pa c procky.. haha.. sorry friend... love you...nabigla lng ako sa lotion.. hahaha!! mwah! ^__^

~tas sa computer lab.. haha.. pinaiyak ako ni sir vince tska ni yveth.. lolz.. nyaha.. kayo talaga.. hmph.. =( hehe, pero, deh, okay lng.. kabadtrip lng kce mahirap talaga magisip ng topic.. ahhahaha.. PEACE TAYU GUYZ.. mwah!!

~im sort of glad that i was able to update ulet.. and oh my god.. may 3 newly written poems ako... hha.. ganda shet!! ^__^ next time popost ko d2.. mwah!! have to go.. maaga pako tom... see you guyz..

ALAS!!~ oh my, its been 2 months since i last posted an entry.. haay.. its just that.. ive been busy and there's nuthin for me to talk about.. i needed space, and time to totally think about some stuff before posting it here..

I am just glad that my org in school, which is PHICSAMATION, planned a team building in a resort in Laguna.. it really helped us all.. it destroyed the barriers that the second and first years have.. i am also glad that we touched our professor's heart.. haha! GO SHUR VINSH!... anyway.. here goes the story of my trip in Laguna..

october18: i am super duper mega LATE!! haha.. suri naman! the bus was supposed to leave at exactly 8am, but good thing coz nasira ung projector.. haha.. we arrived in Villa Morales Resort before lunch time.. we ate lunch and had a small talk about TEAM BUILDING... speaker? si shur vinsh.. hehe.. had an activity in the afternoon na super fun! especially nung gabi.. we had this trust walk and we ended swimming in the pool.. haha.. but it was all good.. ^___^ i was assigned to sleep in room 3, but sa sobrang kapasawayan, i slept in chiell's room.. room #7 together with yveth, chiell and mona.. =)

october19: yikes.. birthday ko! haha.. we had fun activities and super memorable coz nalaman ko na super love ako ng 104A.. kahit may pagkapasaway ako.. hehe.. i, too, love them so much.. i really appreciate what you guys said to me.. mwah! hehe.. i helped the other officers to prepare for the obstacle din.. RAIN OR SHINE, THE WEATHER IS FINE! hehe.. nung night naman.. we prepared this small song for our prof, shur vinsh.. he sort of cried.. hehe tears of joy and thankfulness as he said.. :) he really is one nice and cool prof.. ^___^ anyway.. nung natulog na kami.. HAY NAKO!! sobrang nabwiset ako.. kce ang ginaw sa room.. this time, i was in room #4 haha!! with, leni, gladys, proky, rlyn, yveth, elaine, chiell, and mona.. imagine?? we we're 9 in a room but still super gininaw ako.. cant sleep that's why nung nairita nako sa sobrang ginaw, i stood up and adjusted the aircon...haha..

october20: hmm.. uwian na!! nuthin really happened.. more on pictures.. packed our things.. small talk again with sir pijano.. and makipagkulitan sa baby boy nya.. na ang kyut kyut.. ^___^ hehe..

haay.. i am very very sorry nga pala to those who texted me and greeted me last october 19 na d ko nareplyan.. we surrendered our fones kce.. that is why.. sowee... eniwei, i super duper wanna say THANK YOU! to you guyz.. atleast you remembered me.. haha.. oh wellz.. my birthday was really that memorable.. that was the time as well na nakapagisip isip me ng mga bagay bagay... sad but, that's the way it's gotta be... our team building in laguna sort of served as a retreat nadin.. really helped me.. =)

i missed you guys.. especially sina giep cheska, masturr pj, bes ronan, bebe jetz, twin may and ung aso ko na si jamee.. haha.. bsta andami ko namiss na d ko na minention.. hehe.. baka mapuno patoh.. =) oh wellz.. i love you guyz.. mwah mwah!!

~lotsa things happened recently.. and i don't know how to start this entry... can i just bullet it? haha.. gayahin ko entry ni giep dati...

*--__--* i super miss my friends; dj, joanne, kookie, jm, diana, ricel, tin, A, bhee, nix and yona..
*--__--* i also super miss my bene and AMA tropa.. billy and company... (sana may inuman one of this days!! hahaha inuman padin?!)
*--__--* im superr happy with my grades in school..
*--__--* i lurv my blockmates!! they're the best! promise!!
*--__--* just went shopping last saturday! and i feel, magiging sponsor ko na ang dickies! hahaha!! namakyaw ba naman?? lolz.. ^_^
*--__--* few hours ago, someone asked me, if "mahal ko pa daw ung certain guy na un".. sorta na-shock ako.. haha! weird! bsta all i can say, OUCH!~ bsta long story un.. pero i was really shocked..
*--__--* no classes today!! sana matuloy ako na pumunta sa bahay ni giep!! =)
*--__--* im missing someone.. nagkausap kami recently lng ulet.. and my heart beats for him.. "yikes!"
*--__--* i have a leadership training on saturday-sunday.. and ayoko pumunta! pero kailangan!!
*--__--* ang kulet kulet ni sir vince knina.. hahaha!! maxado cya natuwa sa audibles..
*--__--* my pet dogs are so sweet kanina.. ewan ko kung anu meron, but they seem different.. hehehe.. ^_^

~actually, those were nonsense stuff.. pero they mean a lot to me... and super dami pa na nangyare.. pero d ko na maisip ung iba.. hahaha! cge up to here nlng... nexttime ulet... para lng may bago na ulet na post.. giep ko nagrreklamo na... hehehe peace chessy.. ^_^
~imma bounce off!~

~sad lang ako... may lakad ako "dapat" ngayon.. well.. kinancel ko ung lakad kong una para dun.. but too bad, di ren natuloy ung dapat lakad ngaung day... haaay...

~nuthin special happened this day.. kaya wala ako ma-share.....

~HAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!........................

~gad damn it! yeah, i know, pagsaka is no joke!! and i mean it... especially for us, students who grew up in a place without "palayan!!" hay naku... yesterday, sunday was an exhausting day for my section and I... we went to pampanga, for our nstp... and im all fucked up.. we're all fucked up actually.. imagine, we walked on super wet soil, and super mafeefeel mo na parang nakatapak ka ng kumpol kumpol na tae..!!! kadire tlga!! hindi sa maarte, pero maexperience nyo un?? MAAAWA KAYO SA MGA PAA NYO!!! eniwei... after that.. we we're distributed to our families.. take note: PARA MANGISTORBO!!! why? kce ganito, after goin and placing our feet onto superwet soil na tipon lulubog tlga hanggang tuhod na halos, eh pupunta kami sa mga houses dun sa barangay para makiligo.... MY POINT IS... walang nagbenefit saaming lahat!! we just wasted those palays na dapat itinanim na ng maayos... and nangistorbo pa kami ng neighborhood.. kaplastikan ung sinasabi nung ibang istudyante, nung tinanong cya nung prof namin kung ano na-realize nila... kce sabi nila "narealize daw nila na mahirap magsaka, and magproduce ng mga kung anu-ano... etc" hello?!?!?!?! WE ALL FUCKING KNOW THAT BITCHES... roar!!! such wasteful time we spent there... sana man lng, nakipaginteract nlng sa family.. and hinelp cla.. d ung nangistorbo.. arggh.. eniwei... im sick... i have cough and colds....AGAIN!!! and my body's aching... hay, ewan.. kakainis talaga kahapon.. ehehehhee..

~haay... speaking of inis.. ala lang.. mejo naiinis ako ngaung araw na itu.. ewan ko ba kung baket... hay naku.. aun lng.. kce may isang tao na d magawang tumawag sa bahay.. pag online or katext naman, d makausap ng matino kce maxado busy...!! :( share ko lng.. eniwei... ung isa kong bes na kalbo.. si ronan, may gerlpren na ulit.. hahaha.. ang gerlpren nya eh ung gerlpren ko na nagngangalang cheska.... inagawan ako..!! hahahaha.. bsta congrats sainyong dalawa... ^_^

~share ko din pala.. nagswimming kami sa house nila elaine last saturday.. superr saayaaa!! ^_^ kahit umuulan, cge langoy padin.. ehehehe.. plus we drank beer that night sa bf dampa... :) masaya din naman.. pero bitin.. ehehehe.. next time ulet guyz.. ^_^

~im Outy!!!

~ok, my title sounds kinda weird.. coz i really felt weird too.. hmmm.. d kayo makarelate? haha.. okay, kce ganito yun.. few weeks ago, i had a conversation with my ex.. hmmm it was an odd afternoon for me.. kce, its been awhile talaga since we last spoke.. he asked me if we could see and talk before he leave.. i said to myself, "leave?" san naman kaia pupunta toh? he was my first ex by the way... so ayun nga, few days ago, i decided to meet him up.. super anlaki ng pinagbago nya.. he's so haggard, and superr payat.. tsk.. eniwei, so ayun, we talked..

~he'll be gone for several months i think.. or years pa nga ata.. it depends on what result he'd be getting.. pupunta kce cya sa rehab.. actually, natamaan ata cya sa sinabi ko before sknya.. na "i want direction.. i want you to have direction.. its for our own good" i was kinda touched.. kce kahit papano, i triggered him to do this.. hmmm.. so ayun nga, pupunta cya ng rehab.. and sana nga maging maayos na cya don.. im happy for him.. ^_^

~after awhile, lumabas cya saglit.. ako naman, out of boredom, kinuha ko ung mp3flashdrive sa bag ko, and listened while waiting for him... nung bumalik cya.. he asked what music i was listening.. sabi ko, pagkakataon by milk n money.. pinakinggan din nya.. and somehow, mejo it made us both stop.. suddenly, i cried... was the lyrics of the song made for us? the lyrics goes like this..

pano kung di na tayo magkikita?
pano kung wala nang pagkakataon?
masabi ang lahat saiyo?
pagkakataon? masabi ang...

kulang ba ang oras na binibigay?
kung ikaw at ako ay magkahiwalay?
hindi sasayangin bawat sandali...
magkahiwalay... hindi sasayangin....

kelan ba mauulit?
oras na di napansin?
kelan ba maririnig?
tawanan na di napigilan..

sana ay maaalala..
kelan ba maibabalik?..
ang lahat? nang pinagsamahan...

~it was really sad.. and it'll be really sad.. i have loved him so much.. i have moved on.. but the love i had for him before will never change.. i don't know if its right or wrong... i missed him.. and i somehow miss him now.... he told me that he will do this rehab thing for me.. he wants to change for me.. even if there's no assurance that when he comes back, andito padin ako... ready to catch him.. a lot of things could happen in years.. superr dami.. that's why i dont wanna promise things to him.. you guyz might be asking right now if i still love him.. well, somehow, i still do.. a little maybe.. i really can't say guyz.. coz, i'm still askin myself, why? why did my tears fell? why am i feeling a little odd knowing he'll be gone? ewan ko... or maybe because.. talaga super tagal namin.. and i really loved him so much... ewan.. im liking someone right now.. im not saying i love him na.. its too soon to say.. what am i really feeling? haaay... anyway.. back to my story.. after that song pagkakataon.. especially for you naman...


especially for you
i wanna let u know what i was goin thru
all the time we were apart i thought of you
u were in my heart
my life never changed
i still feel the same

especially for you...
i wanna tell you i was feeling that way too..
and if dreams were wings you know i wouldve flown to you
to be where you are, no matter how far
and now that im next to you
no more dreamin about tomorrow
forget the loneliness, and the sorrow ive gotta say
its all because of you

and now were back together, together
i wanna show you, my heart is oh so true
and all the love i have is especially for you...

especially for you..
i wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
how im certain that our love was meant to be...
you changed my life...oohh you showed me the way..
and now that im next to you...

ive waited long enough to find you..
i wanna put all the hurt behind you
and i wanna bring all the love inside you...

and now were back together, together
i wanna show you, my heart is oh so true
and all the love i have is especially for you...

~yeah.. i once again cried.. oh no.. what was that?? haaaay.. he told me that.. that song was for me daw.. he wanna change for me.. ewan.. totoo kaia? soon to know..

~well, i just thought of it this way.. sa pagalis nya, he'll be for good na.. i mean, atleast titino na cya... and i think its better... if time comes na, we'll meet again.. and still feels the same towards each other.. why not? im not closing doors for him.. but, im not limited to him also.. i mean, what if, may dumating diba? and he's worth loving? why not.. ^_^

~im sad but im happy at the same time.. feeling kinda weird and odd.. but i know i can handle this.. my message for him.. i just want to thank you for the nice things you've done to me.. im happy that you've realized things na.. its not yet late to change.. as long as you're alive.. pede pa magbago..... i want to thank you also dun sa mga things na ikaw naman nagparealize sakin..... ive learned a lot.. and now, i know how to be strong.. i will be strong.. i have loved you so much that i don't know how to let go of you.. i know it's kinda hard.. but if it's for the betterment of both of us.. i will.. i have loved you.. i know you know that.. things changed after we broke up.. but still you're in my heart... it will never change..(my love for you..mabawasan man o madagdagan.. same padin..) and hindi ka mawawala sa puso ko.. i will miss you.. GodBless to you..

July 22,2005
Friday,
Mai-yuchi bar, Adriatico st. Malate

Performances by:

Read Our Lines
Apollo creed
Death by tampon
Valley of chrome
Plane divides the sky

Show starts at 7:30pm.. See u thr! :)


SLAMMAN NA ITO!!!

~im in school right now.. actually, we have a class.. i just finished reporting.. and im not actually listening to the reporter now..hahaha. im bad..  eniwei.. its really really been awhile.. grabe.. d naman dahil sa pressure.. pero, slight lng.. maybe because of my schedule, my tasks, and assignments.. i missed posting an entry.. hahaha.. i missed sharing my thoughts on things.. sa mejo katagalang wala na akong post, andami naman nangyare.. and there are lotsa things running in my mind..

~I LIKE MY SCHOOL AND MY PEERS:

~~~okay..  im not a bedan anymore, but im still a benedictine child.. im studyin in st.scholastica's college, manila.. and so well you know that bene and scho are sister schools..  they're more likely to have the same mission-vision.. i like the school.. hmm.. though, mas maliit cya kesa sa bene.. i also love the people here.. especially people in IT.. 2nd yr and 1styr.. they're so warm.. ^_^ we somehow get along with each other.. but mejo nagaadjust pa sa personalities ng bawat isa.. pero lahat cla masaya kasama!!! and take note!! ATE NILA AKO!!