~ok, my title sounds kinda weird.. coz i really felt weird too.. hmmm.. d kayo makarelate? haha.. okay, kce ganito yun.. few weeks ago, i had a conversation with my ex.. hmmm it was an odd afternoon for me.. kce, its been awhile talaga since we last spoke.. he asked me if we could see and talk before he leave.. i said to myself, "leave?" san naman kaia pupunta toh? he was my first ex by the way... so ayun nga, few days ago, i decided to meet him up.. super anlaki ng pinagbago nya.. he's so haggard, and superr payat.. tsk.. eniwei, so ayun, we talked..

~he'll be gone for several months i think.. or years pa nga ata.. it depends on what result he'd be getting.. pupunta kce cya sa rehab.. actually, natamaan ata cya sa sinabi ko before sknya.. na "i want direction.. i want you to have direction.. its for our own good" i was kinda touched.. kce kahit papano, i triggered him to do this.. hmmm.. so ayun nga, pupunta cya ng rehab.. and sana nga maging maayos na cya don.. im happy for him.. ^_^

~after awhile, lumabas cya saglit.. ako naman, out of boredom, kinuha ko ung mp3flashdrive sa bag ko, and listened while waiting for him... nung bumalik cya.. he asked what music i was listening.. sabi ko, pagkakataon by milk n money.. pinakinggan din nya.. and somehow, mejo it made us both stop.. suddenly, i cried... was the lyrics of the song made for us? the lyrics goes like this..

pano kung di na tayo magkikita?
pano kung wala nang pagkakataon?
masabi ang lahat saiyo?
pagkakataon? masabi ang...

kulang ba ang oras na binibigay?
kung ikaw at ako ay magkahiwalay?
hindi sasayangin bawat sandali...
magkahiwalay... hindi sasayangin....

kelan ba mauulit?
oras na di napansin?
kelan ba maririnig?
tawanan na di napigilan..

sana ay maaalala..
kelan ba maibabalik?..
ang lahat? nang pinagsamahan...

~it was really sad.. and it'll be really sad.. i have loved him so much.. i have moved on.. but the love i had for him before will never change.. i don't know if its right or wrong... i missed him.. and i somehow miss him now.... he told me that he will do this rehab thing for me.. he wants to change for me.. even if there's no assurance that when he comes back, andito padin ako... ready to catch him.. a lot of things could happen in years.. superr dami.. that's why i dont wanna promise things to him.. you guyz might be asking right now if i still love him.. well, somehow, i still do.. a little maybe.. i really can't say guyz.. coz, i'm still askin myself, why? why did my tears fell? why am i feeling a little odd knowing he'll be gone? ewan ko... or maybe because.. talaga super tagal namin.. and i really loved him so much... ewan.. im liking someone right now.. im not saying i love him na.. its too soon to say.. what am i really feeling? haaay... anyway.. back to my story.. after that song pagkakataon.. especially for you naman...


especially for you
i wanna let u know what i was goin thru
all the time we were apart i thought of you
u were in my heart
my life never changed
i still feel the same

especially for you...
i wanna tell you i was feeling that way too..
and if dreams were wings you know i wouldve flown to you
to be where you are, no matter how far
and now that im next to you
no more dreamin about tomorrow
forget the loneliness, and the sorrow ive gotta say
its all because of you

and now were back together, together
i wanna show you, my heart is oh so true
and all the love i have is especially for you...

especially for you..
i wanna tell you, you mean all the world to me
how im certain that our love was meant to be...
you changed my life...oohh you showed me the way..
and now that im next to you...

ive waited long enough to find you..
i wanna put all the hurt behind you
and i wanna bring all the love inside you...

and now were back together, together
i wanna show you, my heart is oh so true
and all the love i have is especially for you...

~yeah.. i once again cried.. oh no.. what was that?? haaaay.. he told me that.. that song was for me daw.. he wanna change for me.. ewan.. totoo kaia? soon to know..

~well, i just thought of it this way.. sa pagalis nya, he'll be for good na.. i mean, atleast titino na cya... and i think its better... if time comes na, we'll meet again.. and still feels the same towards each other.. why not? im not closing doors for him.. but, im not limited to him also.. i mean, what if, may dumating diba? and he's worth loving? why not.. ^_^

~im sad but im happy at the same time.. feeling kinda weird and odd.. but i know i can handle this.. my message for him.. i just want to thank you for the nice things you've done to me.. im happy that you've realized things na.. its not yet late to change.. as long as you're alive.. pede pa magbago..... i want to thank you also dun sa mga things na ikaw naman nagparealize sakin..... ive learned a lot.. and now, i know how to be strong.. i will be strong.. i have loved you so much that i don't know how to let go of you.. i know it's kinda hard.. but if it's for the betterment of both of us.. i will.. i have loved you.. i know you know that.. things changed after we broke up.. but still you're in my heart... it will never change..(my love for you..mabawasan man o madagdagan.. same padin..) and hindi ka mawawala sa puso ko.. i will miss you.. GodBless to you..